Talk:Yumi Uzumaki/@comment-5017717-20131101153533
Ahh~ She's adorable-- though I have a few problems DELETE OR IGNORE IF UNWANTED CRITIQUE, JUST UNDERSTAND THAT I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU IMPROVE YOUR OC 1) Pictures: I'm sorry, but the site doesn't really allow edits, I know there are other people who edit on this site, but I think the admins are telling them about the rules too. If you need any help with digital art, please feel free to ask me to help you on my deviantart. 2) Background: A: Karin was the only survivor in her village, and it was stated in the wiki. So may I suggest something else like "Yumi was a distant relative of Karin whom visitied Karin ever so often and they had a pretty good relationship and Yumi was there on the day the people attacked and Karin had saved/helped Yumi to escape as well" B: How did she leave Orochimaru's hideout? She was a kid back then and would probably not been able to run away that far. Maybe she could have met somebody and followed them to Konoha. C: The hair color, don't you think it's a little bit too much like Kushina's problem? Possibly she could be bullied for another reason? Hair texture/ birth mark? 3) Personality: Maybe the difference between two phases shouldn't be so different, possibly she could still have traits from when she was in the hideout- like the fun loving part which she would show to the people she likes. 4) Abilities: You did a wonderful job here. :) You didn't make her overpowered, and you have a good idea on the "heart attack" medical ninjustu. 5) Spotting Orochimaru: I really don't think she should've spotted Orochimaru, maybe you could've let her sensei spot it? And taking the blame of the 3rd's death is alright... 6) Encounter with the Akatsuki: The Akatsuki would probably not show themselves so easily, and normal chunins would've known they were Akatsuki and they would probably start a fight, but I think it would be a little bit better if they had to force Yumi to heal Kisame because I think Yumi would've done resistance to agreeing. 7) Pein's invasion: You did another great job, you didn't make her fight Pein and be the "whoop-dee-doo-awesome-OC-hero" she just healed and helped. Great job here. :) 8) 5 Kage-Shinobi war- It's good. I like the way Yumi is with Karin. Only 2 things I can pick is the fact that Sakura healed Gai, it was drawn and in both Anime and Manga. So maybe she could've healed another ninja who got themselves hurt before the war? And if she met Itachi, she might have to report to the leader of their division about it. 9) Triva- great job! I like it~! 10) Grammar and spelling, lastly, I wish that you could maybe turn on spell-check and double check your spelling and grammar. It will make people read more easily and happily. :) You can also go here to find people to help you with the editing, or you can find me. :) Guidlines Great job overall- she's very intresting and I can't wait to see more of her! :D 'DELETE OR IGNORE IF UNWANTED CRITIQUE, please excuse my spelling, I was in a bit of a rush~! '